Mock Thanksgiving 2008

The setting: Hidden Valley Ranch - Medina, Texas

The kill: 3 does, a spike, one pig, one coyote, and a raccoon



The players (listed in our determined porn star names):

Wally Worden aka Rex Bramblewood

Banning Collins aka Chelsea Potatopatch

Charlotte French aka Husky Mayberry

MC Gatzke aka Annie Genoa

Ashley Mooring aka Prissy Alchester

Kirk French aka Chivas Wedgewood

Ashley Amini aka Judith Stanlin

Leigh Edgar aka Birtha Stanford

Ben Gatzke aka Spike Finfrock

Alicia Hazlehurst aka Twizzler Legs
(since she can't remember her first pet or street)

The fun:

This past weekend was the 7th Annual (so we think) Mock Thanksgiving at Ashley's ranch. Each year we gather in the hill country the weekend before Thanksgiving to celebrate and give thanks with our friends. The weekend is always a blast and Ash's food is always delicious.....and this year was no exception.

The usual suspects were there with a few devastating exceptions....since Keri and Brett had to stay behind this year. Boo. This year Banning joined us and Alicia even made an appearance all the way from Virginia.

So the weekend started early on Thursday with Wally, Ben, Ash and Banning arriving in time for an afternoon hunt. Alicia flew in Thursday from Richmond and headed out to the ranch with me after lunch...and along the way we picked up Charlotte and Kirk at the Kerrville Airport. The four of us arrived at the ranch in time to see the evenings kill and for Ash's yummy dinner. After dinner we took to the driveway for a little tailgating and dancing. Sadly the wind was ferocious and prevented us from lighting a fire that night, but we didn't let that get in the way of our fun....which lasted well into the wee hours of Friday morning.

I have no idea how they do it, but Friday morning the hunters were up early as most of the late nighters slept the morning away. After we all were up and at em...some of us headed out for an afternoon jeep ride while the hunters took to their blinds once again.

Friday night was the official Mock Thanksgiving meal and Ash once again did not let us down. We "dressed" for dinner in our traditional garb (mostly found in closets around the ranch and supplemented with my hats, wigs, and sunglasses) and enjoyed a Tuscan Thanksgiving meal that was fabulous. After dinner, and a few costume changes, we took to the porch to solve the worlds problems. I'm not sure if it was the tryptophan or the late night before, but we called it a semi-early night on Friday.


Saturday saw more of the same....morning hunting, jeep rides, etc. We also headed to the house at Antelope Ridge for the traditional skeet shoot. The afternoon hunt cut into our skeet shooting time, so the non-hunters took back to the Lodge where we determined the wind was finally still enough for us to have a fire. After a yummy dinner, we continued the party (some more than others) around the fire pit with singing, dancing, and dishing.




The hunters were able to squeeze in one last hunt early Sunday morning, but those big bucks remained elusive as ever. We departed the ranch about noon and the group headed out on our separate ways after lunch at Hondo's in Fredericksburg.

So that's this year's Mock Thanksgiving in a nut shell...the good, the bad, and the ugly....with a little here and there left to the imagination to protect the not so innocent. A giant thanks to Ash who was, as always, the hostess with the mostess. It was great that Banning and Alicia were able to join in on the fun, but it just wasn't the same without Kerquita and Sugar Boy!!!!

And of course, last but not least, I leave you with a little of what what overheard at Mock Thanksgiving 2008...

He finds the need to touch me often. Alicia
Sometimes when I laugh it feels like I'm going to have aneurysm.....is that bad? Leigh
You haven't heard about my stick? LLE
I would love for you to be my aunt. Ash
I'm not good...I'm great! Kirk
I know how to work my own equipment. Ash
You're gonna have sore thumbs by the end of the night. Ben
I feel like I'm on Everest...I'm fuh-reezing. Kirk
I've been right more often than not. Wally
Take my bungee out of your mouth. Wally
I'm craving cheese. Wally
I went to Highland Park. Leigh
Every now and then I like to rub my pelvic region. Kirk
What's your favorite gear? Leigh
I like to consider myself a drinker. Leigh
What did I say that was so funny? Leigh
Do you want me with my meat? Char
I don't like the way suck that. Leigh
It’s just a crotch. Kirk
And I was pulling on it like a burr. MC Whoa...are we measuring penises? Leigh
I definitely f'ed up. Kirk
If you and Kirk were married you'd be f'ed. Char
You know I'm tired if I don't even want to be negative. Wally
Dude....I don't have Lupus. Kirk
You're gonna blow a lip out. Wally
Lay on your back and let your legs fall open. Leigh
You just nuzzled your breasts on me. Leigh
Wally...don't be a bitch. Ash
Way down in your colon....you like Nickleback. Kirk
I can't keep it in my mouth that long. Ash
Crunchy, crunchy. Ash
How are your balls? Leigh
I've gone both ways....I used to live in Miami. Waly
I feel like he's got a lot of crabs going on down there. Kirk
Man....all of a sudden I got drunk as hell last night. Kirk
If you were bigger that would make me feel better. Char
Are we gonna save enough for me to get my boobs fixed? MC …..Why would you fix something that isn't broke? Ben
You're looking at 2 second basemen right here. Wally
Man...getting hit in the face sucks. Kirk
I coulda been a cougar. Kirk
If you had any less action you'd be in a monastery. Kirk
Go at it from this end. Alicia
You're all bloody and you can't touch yourself. Kirk
Is this thing on? Wally
Give or take. Kirk
Do you have big ole gorilla nuts? Kirk
I am NOT touching your lumpy penis squash. Ash
Why WOULD you use your teeth? Char
If it wasn't for Young and The Restless I would have blown my brains out. Char
Let's DO this! Wally
I can back a trailer....drive a stick....and build a fire, bitches. Char (aka Terry)
I don't even like myself....why would I be a french maid. Char
I mean....he puts his hands in your mouth. Wally
Why are you grabbing your balls so aggressively? Wally
Man….I'm the Bon Jovi of going down town. Kirk
Spread my legs and take it in the nads. Ben
Why am I still talking? Kirk
Where are the stirrups when I need em? Ben
If you thought you were drunk before...wait till you taste this mother f'er. Kirk
If this were 09 you'd be talking to a statue. Kirk
My extremities are tingling. Char
If we get divorced or you die....I'm totally gonna climb Everest. Kirk
I do want to be mounted....that's for sure. Ash
Do you have a minute? Alicia
Here's the deal....we grow squash....I go down on everyone. Kirk.
I'm in.....Ash I'm not above takin a little cash. Leigh
The last time I looked at the clock it was 6:45 and I had a good buzz going. Mooring
Video? What is video? Mooring
Stop singing that song and touching me. Ash
I'm scrappier than you think....I was on the offensive line in powder puff. Leigh
You're the camp trampoline......hold the "oline". Wally
I look like a special needs child. Char
I abuse him. Ash

Click here for more pictures from Mock Thanksgiving 2008.

The Bucket List

Leave it to my pal Jenn to come up with yet another great blog entry on The Virginia Monologues. It was so good that I decided to blatantly copy it.

Looks like she came across a "Bucket List" and the premise is to see how you compare....to see what you've crossed off your list. So here's the list and I've highlighted the ones I've done in red...with commentary (what did you expect).

Have you...

Bought everyone in the bar a drink (wish I could...seriously I do)
Swam with wild dolphin
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Been inside a Pyramid
Held a tarantula
Taken a candle lit bath
Said I love you and meant it
Hugged a Tree
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightening storm at sea
Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game
Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa (no, but it was closed when I was there, so not my fault)
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Touched an iceberg
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby’s diaper
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower
Gotten drunk on champagne (maybe I should bold this one)
Given more than you can afford to charity

Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

Had a food fight

Bet on a winning horse

Asked out a stranger

Had a snowball fight

Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

Held a lamb

Seen a total eclipse

Ridden a rollercoaster

Hit a home run (don't laugh...I have)

Danced like a fool, not caring who watched (if I had a nickle...)

Adopted an accent for an entire day (not the entire day, but for an evening, so that counts in my world)

Actually felt happy about your life, even for a moment

Visited all 50 states

Taken care of someone who was too drunk

Had amazing Friends

Danced with a Stranger in a foreign country

Watched wild whales

Stolen a sign

Hitchhiked in Europe

Taken a road-trip (my fave)

Gone rock climbing

Midnight walk on the beach

Gone sky diving

Visited Ireland

Been heartbroken longer than you were in love

Sat at a stranger’s table in a restaurant and ate with them

Visited Japan

Milked a cow

Alphabetized your CDs (wow....was this put in especially for you)

Pretended to be a superhero

Sung karaoke (if you only knew)

Lounged around in bed all day (I'm the best at it)

Gone scuba diving (does the swimming pool at Camp Longhorn count)
Kissed in the rain

Played in the mud

Gone to a drive-in theater
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
Toured ancient sites

Taken a martial arts class

Played a computer game for more than 6 hours straight

Gotten married

Been in a movie

Crashed a party (yep....and, as Jenn also has, crashed a wedding - thanks, Kirk and Charlotte!)Gotten divorced

Gone without food for 5 days

Posed nude in front of strangers

Made cookies from scratch

Won first prize in a costume contest

Ridden a gondola in Venice

Gotten a tattoo

Rafted the Snake River

Been on television news program as an “expert”
Gotten flowers for no reason
Performed on a stage (duh....life is a cabaret)

Been to Las Vegas

Recorded Music

Eaten shark

Had a one-night stand

Gone to Thailand

Bought a house

Been in a combat zone

Buried one/both of your parents

Been on a cruise ship

Spoken more than one language fluently (I wish)

Raised children

Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

Picked up and moved to another city

Walked on the Golden Gate Bridge

Sang loudly in the car and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking

Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have

Wrote articles for a large publication

Lost over 100 lbs

Held someone while they were having a flashback

Piloted an airplane

Petted a stingray

Broken someone’s heart (not that I know of)

Helped an animal give birth

Won money on a TV game show

Broken a bone

Gone on an African safari

Had a body part below the neck pierced

Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol

Ridden a horse

Had major surgery

Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

Slept for more than 30 hours over 48 consecutive hours (this is a definite maybe)
Visited more foreign countries than US States

Visited all 7 continents

Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days (why would you?)

Eaten Kangaroo meat

Eaten sushi

Had your picture in the paper

Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about

Gone back to school (again...why would you?)

Parasailed

Petted a cockroach

Eaten fried green tomatoes

Read the Illiad (do the Cliff's Notes count?)

Selected one important author who you missed in school to read (not yet...but it's on the list)

Killed and prepared an animal for eating (well...I've supervised)

Skipped all of your school reunions

Been elected to public office

Written your own computer language

Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream

Had to put someone you love in hospice care

Build your own PC from parts

Sold your own artwork to someone that didn’t know it was yours

Dyed your hair

Been a DJ

Shaved your head

Caused a car accident

Saved someone’s life

I'll make for a long comment, but I'd love to know what all you have done! For a change....let's talk about YOU!

Remembering Ruprecht

Saturday night we were all very tickled by Winn in the mini rocking chair at the dinner table flanked by Mike and Ted. Winn reminded us all of Ruprecht from the movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and this particular scene. Thought I'd share this classic movie scene.

Party On

A week ago today I turned 33 and this weekend I am really feeling my age....I'm exhasted and am moving a little slower today.

The party filled weekend all started on Thursday night with our monthly Sushi & Champagne. Ashley hosted and cooked an amazing dinner of pork tenderloin and pumpkin soup. Very festive. You might be asking yourself if there was actually sushi at this Sushi & Champagne...and the answer is no. Since this month we were hosting a diaper shower for two of our preggies....Christy and Mary Miles....we opted to do something more special. As always it was a fun filled night. Click here for more pics from the fun.

Friday night it was time to "celebrate" Wendy's new job and move to Fort Worth. Wendy has accepted a three month contract job in The Fort, so she'll be leaving all us Austinites for a bit. A group of us gathered for dinner and drinks at Ranch 616....one of our usual haunts. After a yummy dinner we headed to J. Black's for drinks. Since J. Black's isn't really my scene a few of us decided to head to Ego's to feed our karaoke itch. Here are pics from our fun-filled Friday.


Now on to Saturday night....where Ash had us over again for a pot luck dinner party in celebration of Fall, the great weather, and they threw in my bday for good measure. It was a feast with all the trimmings....Mike fried a turkey, Ash made stuffing, Ford made twice baked potatoes, Mary Miles made green beans, Greta made mini pumpkin cheesecakes, and Jordan and Sara made apps. Everything was delisch and the company was even better. We watched football, caught up with everyone, and a few of us "bebopped"danced and sang well into the wee hours of the morning. Thanks for a super fun party everyone!!! Click here to see more pics and videos from Saturday night. Believe me Ted's rendition of Edelweiss is reason enough to check them out.

So needless to say I'm exhausted from all that partying. It sure was a fun-filled weekend, but i need a weekend to recover from my weekend.

Really?!?!

It's 80 degrees in Austin, the first week in November, and I find this....really?!?!

The Castle Personality Quiz

You know me...I can't resist a good quiz. I took this one called "The Castle Personality Quiz" today and thought it was worth sharing. It's a short series of questions about your vision/experience of a castle. Based on the answers you provide it drums up a quick little personality blurb. Here's mine....it pretty much nailed me.





Take it for yourself here.

A Hit And A Miss

Well folks we made it. Made it through another election with grueling television ads and seemingly endless evaluations and predictions from pundits across the US. It was an incredibly long election but was indeed filled with historic significance and momentous change. But to focus on that seems so common and so anti-Leigh Leigh Land, so I thought I'd go another route and focus on two other observations that cannot go unsaid...one hit and one miss.

Let's start with the miss...
Michelle Obama has really missed the boat on her election night dress. The dress, from Narciso Rodriguez's Spring 2009 line, was a terrible selection in my book. Here's what the runway dress looked like. First of all it was just downright unflattering....and she has a really great figure. Second of all it was kind of a funky dress and she paired it with a matronly cardigan and not that great of a shoe. While all eyes were technically on her husband, I think the world took a gasp as she and their two daughters joined him on stage. Truth be told...I expected much more from her.

And now the hit...
Is little Luke Russert the most darling little politcal reporter you've ever seen. Yes, the election was not quite the same without Tim Russert with us, but I'm so pleased to see his son contribute in his own unique way. Luke was a correspond ant for NBC news last night and reported from Indiana University. He had a great presence, knew his stuff, and was just downright adorable.




The good news on both the hit and the miss is that we haven't seen the last of either of these two. I feel confident Michelle Obama will redeem herself amongst fashion police everywhere and I anxiously await her Inaugural Ball gown choice. And let's hope we haven't seen the last of that cute, darling Luke Russert. Do you think he's too young for me?

Fort Worth Fun

In typical Leigh Leigh fashion...I'm a day late (well a week here) and a dollar short (probably way more than a dollar). Is it wrong to recap a weekend that happened not last weekend, but the weekend before? Well...I guess not if it's my blog and I make the rules. So here goes.

Weekend before last I had the pleasure of heading up to Fort Worth for TCU Homecoming weekend. The Wordens were kind enough to open their home to Ash and I.

The new camera stick made it's first appearance in Fort Worth and amongst the Fort Worth crew. Many had read about it right here on Leigh Leigh Land, but hadn't experienced it in its full glory. There were mixed reviews, but I feel confident the hold outs will come around.

Friday night Ash, Sarah, Keri, and I hit Charleston's...their usual Friday night haunt for some dinner and drinks. After that we headed over to the Joneses to do a little keepin' up. The stick once again stole the show and was truly the highlight of the evening.


Saturday Ash and I met Ashley Mooring and cute Webb for some much needed Mexican food.

After lunch we headed back to the Worden's to gear up for the big tailgate....and by big I really don't mean big at all compared to the tailgates here at UT. We (well really Wally) packed up our supplies and we hit the stadium. I had a great time holding court on the back of Wally's truck and seeing old friends from the Fort.


Dolly, our llama, made her Fort Worth debut this weekend as well. She held a court of her own and happily posed for pics with a variety of local celebrities.

One of the best parts of the tailgate was that Brett treated us all to some of his yummy Chicken E chicken tenders. What is it about those tenders?!?!?!


After the tailgate we made the mistake of hitting the Oui....also known as the smokiest bar in America. Seriously...I'd challenge any bar to the Oui in smokiness....even Deep Eddy before Austin outlawed smoking in bars. So with blood shot eyes we had a few drinks before calling it a night....amongst a little drama here and there....but all in a good night's fun.

Saturday night ended with Wally, Ash, and I solving the world's problems on the back of Wally's tailgate (in their driveway no less) until the wee hours of the morning. Nothing better.

Sunday we hit Joe T's....which I hadn't eaten at in more than 10 years or so. It was super yummy and hit the spot. There we met up with the Gatzkes who were finishing up a family brunch. they quickly ditched the fam and joined our "party." After lunch, we took the party back to the Gatzkes where day drinking ensued for everyone but me...since I had to drive back to Austin to start another week.


If I can say one thing about visiting the Fort, its that it never disappoints. I always have a blast and everyone is always so welcoming. I'll be heading up again in December for their annual Christmas party and I'm sure the shenanigans and tomfoolery will continue. Until then...

Click here to see more pics from my weekend of Fort Worth fun.