Beaver Deceiver

I feel as if I have had several warnings and disclaimers on recent posts, but it seems that things have warranted that recently. This post is no exception. I realize I am 32 years old and that I should handle a story like this with poise and maturity....but I just can't muster it. So, all you thrity-somethings with the sense of humor of a teen-aged boy....enjoy.

I am happy to report that my friend Wally helped in the United States' first installment of a Beaver Deceiver. Yes, that's what I said....a Beaver Deceiver. (insert immature chuckle here)

Evidentially the school where Wally is a Dean, All Saints' Episcopal School in Fort Worth, has a massive beaver problem. (another immature chuckle here) From what I understand, when the school moved onto its current campus there was one lonely beaver....but evidentially....as Wally put it...this beaver must have put out an all call for friends and slowly but surely that were becoming quite a hindrance to the school. The work crafty little water rodents performed seemed to be causing the water on campus to flood.

But, leave it to those private school kids to create a solution to their beaver befuddlement....and so Operation Beaver Deceiver was born. (another immature chuckle here)



Check out their work on the video clips below....I'm sure you'll be as tickled as I was about how many times the NBC reporter must say Beaver Deceiver. (you know the drill)

http://video.nbc5i.com/player/?id=210997
http://cbs11tv.com/video/?id=24277@ktvt.dayport.com

This really is a cool story since it is the first Beaver Deceiver in the US. Congrats to Wally and the kiddos at All Saints on the successfully completing Operation Beaver Deceiver. (just gimme one last chuckle)

Special thank you to my undercover investigative reporter, Ashley, for helping me fact find for this breaking news story.

Music to my ears

As I was driving home from work today listening to Bob FM, I heard an old tunes that brought up more memories of Mexico. Bob, which many of you know, plays just about the randomest songs you can think of. I feel like my Pod could give Bob a run for his money, but everyone once in a while he belts out one that I can't compete with. Like today when I heard Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." We had quite a laugh as we sat in the club in Puerto Vallarta and this Rick Astley began singing one of our long lost faves from the late 80s.



After hearing "Never Gonna Give You Up" on the radio it reminded me of another one of the other funny blast-from-the-past tunes we heard in PV....Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time," Party All The Time just might rank up there as one of the worst songs of all time....a lthough I find it pretty catchy and it's so bad that it just might need to find itself at home in my Pod.




Guess they are a tad behind the times when it comes to the most up to date tunes in old PV, although....Soulja Boy did make frequent appearences throughout the weekend.

Blame It On Mexico

Well folks...I'm reluctantly back in the saddle...back in Austin after 5 days in beautiful, sunny Puerto Vallarta. My traveling compadres (Ash, Ted, and Joe) and I had a great time filled with lots of sand, surf, and sunshine....and the occasional spirit. My apologies for the delayed posting of the blog as well as it's extreme length, but I couldn’t find the time for periodic updates on this trip. So, here's the play by play (with a little left to the imagination to protect the not so innocent).

Last Wednesday we left a drizzly, cold, miserable morning in Austin for Mexico. With a glass of bubbly for Ash and I and some bloody mary's for the boys we toasted what was sure to be a weekend to remember (albeit hazy).

We arrived about 1 that afternoon and checked in to the Westin Puerto Vallarta. The hotel was great. Our rooms were ready in time for our early check in, so we downed our first official cocktails in Mexico, changed into our swimsuits, and hit the beach for a full afternoon of sun. The weather was perfect. It was sunny and just warm enough that you wanted to get in the pool every once in a while, but you weren't sweating to death while you lounged in the sun. We lounged in the Nikki Beach Club area that afternoon which is a swanky area of mattress type lounge chairs, complete with mounds of pillows, loads of waiters, and a DJ spinning tunes (although we quickly realized that my iPod was a much better fit for our needs.)


Of course, we really blew it out the first night: we had a wonderful dinner at Hacienda San Angel up "in the hills "that had a killer view of all of Puerto Vallarta. After a fairly treacherous cab ride up the mountain we were amazed at this fabulous little boutique hotel tucked away from the city. Our dinner there was amazing...great seafood, steaks and wine. On the way out though things took a tumble...well actually...I took a tumble. I fell down some stairs as we were leaving. As Ted so eloquently put it..."you ate shit." It was indeed hilarious (and a darn good thing I had just visited the ladies room) but unfortunately I did end up with a bit of a twisted ankle. After dinner we hit a local discoteca and danced until the wee hours (me and my banged up ankle and all). I'd say it was the tequila shooters that somehow pulled me through.


The next day Ash and I hit the pool early to bask in the sun while the boys went out to play and wander the beach. We were right at home on our beach chairs with a fabulous "little man" who tended to our every need. After a long day at the pool, we freshened up for a dinner at Daiquiri Dick's (the name is far more unfortunate than the actual restaurant) where we sat right on the beach overlooking the water. After dinner we hit a couple of bars...one of which I was hazed (ok politely asked) to danced on top of, bum ankle and all.


Friday involved more sun as Ashley and I worked on our tans by the pool all day while the boys went into town for a little exploring "up in the hills." When we met back up with the boys on the beach of our hotel they surprised us with their fresh beach-side tattoos...henna tattoos that is. That night we enjoyed a lobster and shrimp dinner at Ay Caramba complete with another great view of the city. It was here Ashley and I met are darling (eleven year old) boyfriend Jose...the gourmet guacamole cart boy. He tended to our every avocado need. After dinner we hit and then to Z Tai...a swanky lounge...for a few more drinks.


Saturday...our last day..Ash and I rented a beach side pergola and stayed out there until sunset. It was incredible and the service was great. They even brought complimentary large bottles of Evian in silver ice buckets - you can imagine my excitement. Hey...it's the little things that make me happy!!! The boys were supposed to have risen early that day to catch a ride on a booze cruise for the day...but tequila often gets in the way of the best laid, early morning plans and they actually opted against it. So, while Ash and I laid on the beach, the boys went into town again and treated themselves massages. They met back up for us for a few beach-side sunset cocktails and a little football tossing.




Our last night in PV we treated ourselves to our first authentic mexican food dinner at Los Arbolitos. We had a great balcony seat and we enjoyed mariachis, margaritas, enchiladas, fajitas, y mas. After dinner it was off to De Santos for a mean game of "Marry/Bone/Kill" and some cocktails for our last night in PV.

I'm actually a little disappointed in my picture taking on this trip, but between not particularly wanting a bunch of bathing suit pics and a rumble or two from the group, I just wasn’t on my best picture taking game. Nonetheless, click here to see the rest of our pics from Puerto Vallarta.

And last but not least....some of the obligatory quotes overheard on our trip...
"I like the smaller ones...I can't get my hand around the big ones." LLE
"It's not the going down that bothers me." LLE
"Just in case you wanted to toss something." LLE
"I really like those nuts." Ted
"I'll fix you when we get out of the car." Joe
"Don't do that when I have something in my mouth." Ash
"Ivory is the worst pube soap EVER." Joe
"Arrrf" Ted
"You don't think I can handle dirty?" Ted......."He invented dirty." Joe
"Its better with your shirt off." Ash
"I want you to grab my hair." LLE
"Anything up in the hills?" Joe
"What?" Ted ...."Wha?" Joe
"I feel like...." Leigh, Ted, and Ash
"This is Austin?" LLE

Other topics/subjects/comments/annoying-inside-jokes of note....
Edit
Toyota
Gushers
The Frenchmen (argh)
Goo
The Black Pearl
Tequila Ted
The f/u phone call
Our unsuccessful quest for a hot tub
TIU
Thriller
Jou wan someting for juour nose?

All in all...I'd say it was a successful trip. Although, of course, I now have that itch to hit the beach again. Any takers?

Thanks for a great trip my amigos.

IFH Monday's

I'm back from Mexico and this video relates perfectly to my re-entry. I've been swamped today...playing catch up....and my phanfare site (where I post all my pics) is "down for maintenance." So, the worlkd must wait a bit longer to see pics from my long weekend in Puerto Vallarta. In the meantime, enjoy this....

Warning....might not want to blare this one too loud at the office.

Adios Amigos

I'm off to Mexico for five days of sunnin' and funnin'. I hope to blog while I'm away, but a girl on vacation just can't commit to that. We'll see.

The four of us....Ash, Tedder, Joe, and I...leave manana at 10:30 and jet set to Puerto Vallarta. We are staying at the Westin and I can't wait to dive into their Heavenly Beds after diving into the pool. I have often mentioned "things I'm good at" here in my blog, but I have to admit that sitting by the pool and on the beach just might be my purpose in life. Especially when there is a "little man" eager to do things for "my pleasure."

Puerto Vallarta is one of my all time favorite places to visit, but I haven't been in years. I'm anxious to see how things have changed. So, all my bags are packed (understatement of the year) and I'm ready to hit the beach.

Until we meet again...adios amigos!

M is for Merkin

I must start today's entry with a bit of a disclaimer for those who may be sensitive to all things inappropriate....this entry might not be for you. For those who are willing...read on.

Do you know what a Merkin is? I didn't until this fall when I was introduced to the term by some friends from Fort Worth (whose names I've chosen to omit to protect the not so innocent). I thought it was just one of those made up words that somehow had legs and had made it's way into our conversation around the late night fire pit at the ranch. But, I was wrong.

The merkin reappeared in my life on Friday night. I should rephrase that....the word merkin reappeared in my life on Friday night. While playing a mean game of "Kings" we came upon a 7 card (which in the game Kings means you pick a letter and then everyone around the table has to come up with a word that starts with that letter. Well, you can guess where this is going....the letter "m" was chooses and when it came around to me...the only thing I could think of was "merkin"....Lord only knows why!

I was immediately challenged by the group that I had made up this word. I mean...what about me would make anyone think I had made up a word?!?!? So (thank goodness for iPhones) it was immediately googled and it proved that Merkin is indeed a word. So, consider this your lesson du jour...you can thank me later.

Merkin
A pubic hair-piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals.
In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed.

We've come a long way, haven't we?!?! A toupee for the public area? I mean....don't we pay our good, hard-earned money to do just the opposite?!?!

My how times change.

P.S. I thought I would forgo a picture on this entry for reasons that are obvious. You can thank me later.

Weekend Wrap Up

After going strong for some time now, I finally had a weekend with a little R&R. Things have been super busy at work and that has prevented me from blogging as frequently. Oh how I hate when work interferes with my life!!! But, I was able to fit some of my fave things in this weekend to make up for the stressful work week....hanging out with friends, two stepping, shopping, a movie, and sleeping in. Here's a quick recap...

Friday night was the return of Dive Bar Night. You may remember me frequenting Austin several years ago to attend Dive Bar Night. Its hard to imagine how long ago that actually was and how much things have changed since then....lots of marragies, moves, and babies. But, we fall back into old habits when we get to attend the occasional DBN these days. This DBN's theme was "The Campus Tour"...so the gang hit Posse East, Crown & Anchor, and Nasty's. The first stop was a little light on attendees, but the group picked up at stop #2. And, of course Big Mike treated us to a couple of games of Kings. And....poor Renee...on her first DBN...drew the last King. Below are a few pics from DBN #28, but click here to see a few more pics from the night.

Ash, Sara, and I made it to the first two bars of DBN, but then eneded up meeting up with Tedder Vance and some pals for a bday celebration at Dallas Night Club (sometimes a late night stop for the DBN crew). Once at Dallas....we danced the night away....two stepping and a little bumping and grinding cowboy style. Below are a couple of teaser pics, but click here to see all the pics from DNC.

Saturday I slept in and caught up on some DVRed shows. I then met Ash for some lunch and a trip to "The Mother Ship" for some necessities and assorted sundries. I did walk away with a new killer pair of sunnies for my upcoming trip to Mexico. Oh, I don't think I've mentioned that here...yes my friends....I'll be headed to Mexico on Wednesday on a last minute vacation....more on that later. Saturday night, we grabbed some din din at Mandola's and then caught the uber chick flick....27 Dresses...which was darling.

I slept in again this morning and spend the day preparing for my trip this week. I was oh so productive and got most of my packing done. Hooray. I'll fill you in on my trip in a few days. Have a great week everyone.

He continues to "rock my world"

Brett Michaels continues to "rock my world" with the second season of Brett Michaels Rock Of Love on VH1. This little show is the msot addictive trash you can find on tv these days. I mean...you can't make these girls up. I have no idea where you would even start to go looking for girl like this. This season's first episode aired on Sunday night and I just caught up with it last night. Season 2 is "whore-iffic" as my pal Alicia appropriately deemed it.

My favorite quote of the season premier had to be this one by the man himself...

"The first girl that takes her top off is like the trailblazer....

she's like Lewis and Clark."
- Brett Michaels

If that's not enough to entice the most skeptical of viewers....I don't know what is.

Nice and Easy???

Our dear friend Ted is at it again. You never quite know what shenanigans Tedder will be up to, but this one may take the preverbial cake. Next week, Ted will be jetting off to Mexico on vacation and in preparation for the trip he thought he would dye his light brown locks a nice summery blonde.

Here he is before...


After a trip to CVS to choose just the perfect color, Ashley took on the brave task of coloring Ted's hair.

Here he is during....
After a quick shampoo, we quickly realized his hair was a bit orange rather than the golden blonde represented on the box.

Well...this just wouldn't do. So, back to the CVS for more blonding equipment for round 2. Ash once again took on the task and administered the color.

Phase 2 in progress...


....and the results....


As Ted says, "Not ideal...". Maybe we just aren't used to it yet???? Or maybe a his tan plan will help????? Ash and I highly recommended a quick trip to the color correction shop (aka seek professional help...stat), but Ted seems committed to the cause. There were several almost pee-in-your-pants moments during the final phase. I can't wait to hear people's reactions...especially that of Patty and John!!!

We'll see if he can live up to the old adage that blondes really do have more fun!!!!

Click here to see pics from the entire process.

Perry Leigh's Baptism

My niece Perry Leigh Edgar was baptised yesterday, Sunday, January 13th, at Highland Park United Methodist Church in Dallas.

She was perfect as always and even had the audience in stiches when she sneezed at the minister right on cue. The Reverend Paul Rasmussen performed the ceremony. It was extra special since Paul was the minister at Rusty and Carly's wedding (4 years ago this Friday - my how time flies).


"Team Perry" came out in full effect and had quite a crew standing behind her on her special day... grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, great aunts, cousins, a future aunt-in-law, and a double aunt!


After church we all gathered back at the Evans' house for a celebratory lunch for both Perry's baptism and Rusty's 29th bday...poor guy always gets overshadowed by the women in his life....but don't feel too sorry for him...I promise he gets by just fine. We dined on a delicious lunch from Amore (one Rusty's faves), one of Jan's fabu coconut cakes (another nod to Little Russ), and darling pink iced cookies (which I'm sure will one day be one of Perry Girl's faves just like her Aunt LG).


We were also treated to a wonderful surprise.....Perry's Cousin Lilly read a special poem that she wrote for Little Perry.

Operation Black Buck

WARNING: dead animals and extra long blog entry!

Well friends we've got another successful ranch trip under our belts.

The group:
the usual suspects....Ashley and Leigh;
our Fort Worth compadres....Brett and Wally;
and our San Antonio buds and their kiddos...all ten of them.

We spent the weekend out at the beautiful Hidden Valley Ranch in Medina, Texas. As usual the weekend was full of great friends, great fun, and lots and lots of potential pee-in-your-pants moments. Thankfully we got past this one without incident.

The weekend started on Friday beautiful, crisp and cool afternoon. Ashley, Wally and Brett, and I met up at The Lodge late afternoon on Friday and we fell right into our usual banter. After a few inaugural beers we awaited the arrival of our friends from San Antonio who finally pulled in "Roadhouse style"....you could hear them coming from the front gate and they had no less than 5 in their caravan....and their trucks are enough to give anyone a little truck envy. The hunters took to their blinds, the kids hit the hill for some "sledding", and it was on to the kitchen to prepare dinner for the night.

Foy came in with the weekend's first kill...a nice looking aoudad. There's nothing I love more than seeing a one of the hunters pull up with something dead. After dinner and the kids were drugged and put to bed, the adults assumed their usual positions around the firepit for some dancing and debauchery.

Event of note....somehow the dead, skinned, decapitated aoudad ended up in Craig's truck bed....unbeknownst to him. After several hours of wondering where the carcass was....Craig happened upon the shrapnel in the back of his truck and it was officially "game on."

Saturday we all gathered at the house at Antelope Ridge where Brett, Wally, Ashley, and I were staying. We were treated to Ashley's chili and a beautiful afternoon of skeet shooting and beer drinking. Every time I do that...I'm reminded just how good I am at chillin in a rocking chair, my feet propped up on a cooler, a frosty Coors Light in one hand, the iPod blaring in the background, watching my friends shoot skeet. I mean...everyone has a calling and that very well may be mine.

Only a few hunters hit the blinds that afternoon, but they were all pretty much successful A doe, a pig, and...wait for it....wait for it...a black buck antelope. But, not just any black buck antelope. This "crafty little bastard" was the last of the Mohicans...the very last black buck on the property. We must all take a moment of silence to recognize the sacrificial service that our old friend (or maybe foe) the black buck gave us. Yes, friends....Operation Black Buck was finally a success. After many long years, Wally finally came face to face with his nemesis. In what I can only imagine as a showdown of the old west, I am thrilled to say that Wally sent that little guy to Antelope Heaven. And...I'm proud to say that Wally...the shoulder mounting buzz kill that he is...will indeed be stuffing that bad boy for his office wall. Congrats Wally...job well done. I'm sure Bobby and Bobby Ray will sleep better tonight knowing that their patchwork fence will need to be patched no more.


Saturday night was spent in the usual fashion...the hunters skinned their kills, a wonderful dinner was prepared by our friends from San Antonio, games were played, and we took to the fire pit. The best part of the evening was when Brad asked Brett when he thought Wally would notice Craig's revenge of the aoudad on his truck? We looked around to find a lovely pair of aoudad balls hanging from the review mirror. Little did Brad know that it was actually Brett's truck and not Wally's. But, of course Brett was a good sport and we all had a nice laugh at Craig's effort at revenge. That wasn't the last we would see of the aoudad balls though. But, I'll let Craig tell you all about his late night fire pit incident with them another time.


As usual, I took note of some of the most memorable moments from the weekend. Here are just a sampling of some of what was overheard at Hidden Valley Ranch this weekend:

“Are you airing out your kitty?” - Wally
“That’s gonna look like a Yakima on your head.” - Wally

“Brad…you’ve been perioded.” - Craig
“Anything with areola in it is clearly gonna be mine.” - Wally
“I mean….you can’t go down to the tank and catch a marlin.” - Wally“
This party ain’t ending anytime soon…I can just tell.” - Brett“
"Licking involves motion of your tongue.” - Ashley
“That’s not a stick baby, that’s a log.” - Shannon
“Wh…where’s the beer?” - Jack
“I’ve seen a guy lick nuts before.” - Wally
“If my wife wants to get pregnant…all she has to do is sit on the shower drain.” - Brad
“Take your top off honey.” - Craig
“Finger that dictaphone.” -Wally
“Man….if you got areola….yeah.” - Brett
“Have you checked your goo?” - Leigh
“If I get wine will you bring the wood?” - Brett
“He’s captain ugly.” - Mitch
“Maybe they’ll have a boob off.” - Brett
“If you can come up with a name for that…I’m in.” - Wally
“That guy is thick.” - Brett
“My wife is sitting on a pair of flapjacks and BBs.” - Craig
“The only time I’m gonna handle poo is if I’m putting it in a sock.” - Wally
“I’m feeling naughty.” - Brett
“I’m drying out my liver.” Brad ……”That’s what Sunday’s are for.” - Shannon
“I’ll handle the kitchen…you handle the guns.” - Brett
“I’m sorry but….vaginas don’t absorb nutrients.” - Mitch
“I just like to say the word lube.” - Wally
“You need to stay down here and rub on me.” - Craig
“I felt a deer penis.” - Jack
“Hey captain obvious.” - Wally
“Do I know my bitch or what?!” - Brett
“Cranium is about as cool as syphilis.” PJ
“Do you all know my syphilis story?” -Mitch

I'd also like to note that we all walked away from the weekend a little smarter than before having learned a little about "Gushers", "Oysters" , and "The Dirty Carl."

Thanks again for a great weekend Ash. You are, as always, a wonderful host. See you all in the Fall for next year's hunting season.

Click here to see all our crazy pics from this weekend at the ranch.

Mature responsible adults

Last Thursday night, the Wheelers hosted an impromtu indoor round table. I had emailed late Thursday afternoon to see if they might be up for a glass of wine or two and as it turned out....just about everyone else had the same thing in mind. So, the Levy's (complete with little Sammy), Courtney, Vince, Mike Hogan (back from the dead), Ted, and I all gathered for some Thursday night fun. After Ford treated us to a great dinner complete with chocolate cake, we proceeded to play some dominos...the Mexican Train Dominos that Ted got for Christmas which just happen to be one of my fave new games. This is just a sample of some of the fun you can have with a bucket of sunglasses and some dominos. Meet the players...

Tedder Vance: game master xtraordinaire...

The Wheelers (Lizzy and Ford): our hosts, supervisior (as in not a player) and the evening's chef de cuisine (respectively)

Leigh Leigh: the socializer (i.e. least likely to know when its her turn)




















Hogan: most likely to disappear again
















Vince and Courtney: the mouth and the most most likely to play by proxy