Mock Thanksgiving 2008

The setting: Hidden Valley Ranch - Medina, Texas

The kill: 3 does, a spike, one pig, one coyote, and a raccoon



The players (listed in our determined porn star names):

Wally Worden aka Rex Bramblewood

Banning Collins aka Chelsea Potatopatch

Charlotte French aka Husky Mayberry

MC Gatzke aka Annie Genoa

Ashley Mooring aka Prissy Alchester

Kirk French aka Chivas Wedgewood

Ashley Amini aka Judith Stanlin

Leigh Edgar aka Birtha Stanford

Ben Gatzke aka Spike Finfrock

Alicia Hazlehurst aka Twizzler Legs
(since she can't remember her first pet or street)

The fun:

This past weekend was the 7th Annual (so we think) Mock Thanksgiving at Ashley's ranch. Each year we gather in the hill country the weekend before Thanksgiving to celebrate and give thanks with our friends. The weekend is always a blast and Ash's food is always delicious.....and this year was no exception.

The usual suspects were there with a few devastating exceptions....since Keri and Brett had to stay behind this year. Boo. This year Banning joined us and Alicia even made an appearance all the way from Virginia.

So the weekend started early on Thursday with Wally, Ben, Ash and Banning arriving in time for an afternoon hunt. Alicia flew in Thursday from Richmond and headed out to the ranch with me after lunch...and along the way we picked up Charlotte and Kirk at the Kerrville Airport. The four of us arrived at the ranch in time to see the evenings kill and for Ash's yummy dinner. After dinner we took to the driveway for a little tailgating and dancing. Sadly the wind was ferocious and prevented us from lighting a fire that night, but we didn't let that get in the way of our fun....which lasted well into the wee hours of Friday morning.

I have no idea how they do it, but Friday morning the hunters were up early as most of the late nighters slept the morning away. After we all were up and at em...some of us headed out for an afternoon jeep ride while the hunters took to their blinds once again.

Friday night was the official Mock Thanksgiving meal and Ash once again did not let us down. We "dressed" for dinner in our traditional garb (mostly found in closets around the ranch and supplemented with my hats, wigs, and sunglasses) and enjoyed a Tuscan Thanksgiving meal that was fabulous. After dinner, and a few costume changes, we took to the porch to solve the worlds problems. I'm not sure if it was the tryptophan or the late night before, but we called it a semi-early night on Friday.


Saturday saw more of the same....morning hunting, jeep rides, etc. We also headed to the house at Antelope Ridge for the traditional skeet shoot. The afternoon hunt cut into our skeet shooting time, so the non-hunters took back to the Lodge where we determined the wind was finally still enough for us to have a fire. After a yummy dinner, we continued the party (some more than others) around the fire pit with singing, dancing, and dishing.




The hunters were able to squeeze in one last hunt early Sunday morning, but those big bucks remained elusive as ever. We departed the ranch about noon and the group headed out on our separate ways after lunch at Hondo's in Fredericksburg.

So that's this year's Mock Thanksgiving in a nut shell...the good, the bad, and the ugly....with a little here and there left to the imagination to protect the not so innocent. A giant thanks to Ash who was, as always, the hostess with the mostess. It was great that Banning and Alicia were able to join in on the fun, but it just wasn't the same without Kerquita and Sugar Boy!!!!

And of course, last but not least, I leave you with a little of what what overheard at Mock Thanksgiving 2008...

He finds the need to touch me often. Alicia
Sometimes when I laugh it feels like I'm going to have aneurysm.....is that bad? Leigh
You haven't heard about my stick? LLE
I would love for you to be my aunt. Ash
I'm not good...I'm great! Kirk
I know how to work my own equipment. Ash
You're gonna have sore thumbs by the end of the night. Ben
I feel like I'm on Everest...I'm fuh-reezing. Kirk
I've been right more often than not. Wally
Take my bungee out of your mouth. Wally
I'm craving cheese. Wally
I went to Highland Park. Leigh
Every now and then I like to rub my pelvic region. Kirk
What's your favorite gear? Leigh
I like to consider myself a drinker. Leigh
What did I say that was so funny? Leigh
Do you want me with my meat? Char
I don't like the way suck that. Leigh
It’s just a crotch. Kirk
And I was pulling on it like a burr. MC Whoa...are we measuring penises? Leigh
I definitely f'ed up. Kirk
If you and Kirk were married you'd be f'ed. Char
You know I'm tired if I don't even want to be negative. Wally
Dude....I don't have Lupus. Kirk
You're gonna blow a lip out. Wally
Lay on your back and let your legs fall open. Leigh
You just nuzzled your breasts on me. Leigh
Wally...don't be a bitch. Ash
Way down in your colon....you like Nickleback. Kirk
I can't keep it in my mouth that long. Ash
Crunchy, crunchy. Ash
How are your balls? Leigh
I've gone both ways....I used to live in Miami. Waly
I feel like he's got a lot of crabs going on down there. Kirk
Man....all of a sudden I got drunk as hell last night. Kirk
If you were bigger that would make me feel better. Char
Are we gonna save enough for me to get my boobs fixed? MC …..Why would you fix something that isn't broke? Ben
You're looking at 2 second basemen right here. Wally
Man...getting hit in the face sucks. Kirk
I coulda been a cougar. Kirk
If you had any less action you'd be in a monastery. Kirk
Go at it from this end. Alicia
You're all bloody and you can't touch yourself. Kirk
Is this thing on? Wally
Give or take. Kirk
Do you have big ole gorilla nuts? Kirk
I am NOT touching your lumpy penis squash. Ash
Why WOULD you use your teeth? Char
If it wasn't for Young and The Restless I would have blown my brains out. Char
Let's DO this! Wally
I can back a trailer....drive a stick....and build a fire, bitches. Char (aka Terry)
I don't even like myself....why would I be a french maid. Char
I mean....he puts his hands in your mouth. Wally
Why are you grabbing your balls so aggressively? Wally
Man….I'm the Bon Jovi of going down town. Kirk
Spread my legs and take it in the nads. Ben
Why am I still talking? Kirk
Where are the stirrups when I need em? Ben
If you thought you were drunk before...wait till you taste this mother f'er. Kirk
If this were 09 you'd be talking to a statue. Kirk
My extremities are tingling. Char
If we get divorced or you die....I'm totally gonna climb Everest. Kirk
I do want to be mounted....that's for sure. Ash
Do you have a minute? Alicia
Here's the deal....we grow squash....I go down on everyone. Kirk.
I'm in.....Ash I'm not above takin a little cash. Leigh
The last time I looked at the clock it was 6:45 and I had a good buzz going. Mooring
Video? What is video? Mooring
Stop singing that song and touching me. Ash
I'm scrappier than you think....I was on the offensive line in powder puff. Leigh
You're the camp trampoline......hold the "oline". Wally
I look like a special needs child. Char
I abuse him. Ash

Click here for more pictures from Mock Thanksgiving 2008.